Taking my own advice, late night dinners, popcorn, and cold hot-chocolate

The following story is one of the few interesting things that has happened to me during my short excursion in the south these last few months. I was originally not going to post it but...it's a good story and I love those :)So, pull up that computer chair, grab your favorite snack (popcorn in my case), some hot-chocolate, and get ready for story time. The lyrics I’ve inserted are from a song that I kept coming across during this time that seemed to fit perfectly. It’s from a song called ‘Kill’ by Jimmy Eat World.

“Well you’re just across the street…looks a mile to my feet…”

 

Chase. A lot can be summed up in that word. Namely what I have been spending the last week thinking about… a lot. Chasing, how to chase, when to give up the chase, and yes, just the word…Chase.

In this case it’s because it happens to be the name of a girl I’ve met here in Mississippi. Now, when I got down here, I said I would DEFINITELY not even look around to date anyone because it was, after all, Mississippi. Which might be biased but there are very few girls that are attractive in any way down here... not to mention I’m not from here. But all that changed last…Sunday I think it was. The days sort of run together down here but I think it was Sunday night I went in to Chilies and this very attractive and really sweet girl waited on me. I didn’t think too much about it that night, mainly because I only have about 2 more weeks here in MS, and I was able to (fairly successfully I might add) talk myself out of pursuing anything because of this reason. However, it kinda floated around in my mind most of the week so this past Friday night I thought I would go to Chilies again and catch a basketball game and see if I happened to run into her again.


“Could it be that everything goes round by chance?...Or only one way that it was always meant to be…?”

I sat in a different section, but she happened to be there and to be my server again. She remembered me, exactly what I ordered, and what I liked to drink. Which I thought was pretty cool, and also kind of amazing considering we had honestly very little communication when I had come in the previous Sunday. So I started to re-think my whole approach, mainly just because she was so nice and sincere and apparently, either had a great memory…or had reason to remember me. And more than all of that… you ever have one of those times where you and another person just ‘click’? It’s only happened to me three times in my life but…yeah, this was one of those times.



But still I wasn’t sure. Every logical thought process I went through was in favor of leaving the whole thing alone for three good reasons. First, as previously stated, I have two weeks left in this state and then it’s quite possible that I would never see this girl again. Number two, I don’t REALLY know anything about her. Yes, she’s nice, very attractive, and her personality just seems to ‘fit’ for lack of a better word. But at the same time, I have no clue if she’s a Christian, what her family is like, or what her personality is away from her job (because, let’s face it, people will probably tip friendly, attractive girls better than they would otherwise). And third, I had no clue if this girl had a boyfriend or anything like that but even if she didn’t, I don’t think long distance relationships work. Too much can go wrong, and often does, when you are more than about 100 miles apart from what I’ve seen.



“…funny how I’m nervous still…I’ve always been an easy kill…I guess I always will…”



So I sat there… thinking through all these really good reasons to say nothing. However, and this is what always gets me, I HATE wondering. I hate not knowing for sure and losing sleep for who knows how long agonizing over why I didn’t say anything. I mean, as I often say in my blog, all the girl can do is say no. And if she does, you aren’t any further behind than you already are by not saying anything. So.. I was stuck. Totally didn’t know what to do. However, I listened and watched the way she interacted with people (covertly of course  ;) the rest of the time while I was waiting for my food.

Now, a qualifying statement. I have NEVER asked a girl out that I’ve met in a restaurant, Wal-Mart, on the bus, a petting zoo, or any other place for that matter. I am not that guy. I think the whole idea is a little over the top and kinda lame to be honest. It can be done correctly of course but most of us envision, at least I do, the creepy guy that hits on the waitress at the restaurant and uses some cheesy pickup line or something…usually right before she slaps him and walks off. And also, I would like to think I have a very realistic view of myself. I am quite average when it comes to looks and all that. So this type of approach would probably not work for me anyway did I decide to pursue it on a more full time basis.

Anyway, as I am going about all these ponderings I heard her talk to the table behind me. “Hi there how are you all doing tonight?...my name’s Chase and I’ll be taking care of you…” (my face:  0.0) A …GIRL… named Chase? I had never heard of such a thing. But I thought hey, something to ask her about right? Eventually my food comes and I talk to her a little (I was going to say more but I kinda chickened out and mainly just asked her if Chase was really her name and if there was any story behind that. Which, it turns out, there really isn’t. I guess her mom liked to use names that could be either boy’s or girl’s names). In any case, we really didn’t talk too much more. The only other event of the evening was that she put hearts all over my check but, again, I don’t read into that stuff too much because I think it’s pretty common when there is a tip involved. Anyway, she was nice, I was nice back, I found out her name…checked for a ring (always a good move…just don’t be obvious) and that was it. I walked out. However, as I am walking away I think wow… Lame. Really, really lame. And trust me, I kicked myself the whole way home that I didn’t talk to her longer. But hey, I figured she probably has a boyfriend anyway and it probably doesn’t matter too much… no need to agonize over it anymore.



“I pick up…put down the phone… it’s just like being alone”

Yeah right. I spent a fairly restless night trying to let it go…and pretty much failed miserably. Like I said, I hate not knowing far worse than I hate rejection. But the opportunity was lost. I hadn’t said what I should have. So I kinda went about the next day (Saturday) a little bit annoyed and thought the least I could have done was thanked her for taking the time to talk to me and tie up one of her tables for a couple hours while I watched the basketball game….which I actually did by the way for all those who think that was just a cover. ;)

So yeah, Sat night came and about 1030 I decided “FINE!!!!” (That was me yelling at myself) So I left my hotel and headed over to Chilies. Lame I know. And probably bordering on stalkerish. Sorry. And guess what…SHE WAS THERE AGAIN?!?! Yes, she was. She waved at me and I sat down.





“I know what I should do…but I just can’t walk away…”



So this time I think I am not leaving without talking to her more. Like for sure. “No way…”, I am thinking…"you are NOT walking out of this restaurant without tal---". That was about the time she sat down ACROSS from me… (Once again, my face… 0.0). Now, maybe I am just weird, but this does not seem like everyday activity to me. Maybe it happens to some guys a lot but, as discussed earlier, I don’t have the whole Brad Pitt thing going on so this is all pretty new to me. Anyway, she sits down and says: “hey how’s it going…it’s been crazy tonight…do you mind if I just sit here a minute and take a break?” Haha, seriously? Do I mind?? As if. So we sit there and talk about stuff for awhile. She’s a sophomore, studying to be a elementary teacher, and wants to know my opinion on if she should take statistics or college algebra (which, by the way, I think I lose a little bit of my soul every time someone says the word “statistics”…just throwing that out there). So we talk for probably ten minutes, she goes back to work and I decide: “yep, I think she’s throwing out signals, I am going to take the plunge and ask her out”. So the restaurant starts to empty out because it’s now 11:45 and I ask her for my check. She says “oh don’t worry about it tonight, you let me talk to you for forever so I don’t have a check for you this time”.

Wow. I would give you my surprised face again but it’s probably starting to lose its effectiveness due to overuse. ;) So I argue with her briefly about the whole check thing and then transition beautifully (cough cough) into something like: “hey…ok so…I know you probably get this all the time Chase but… you seem really cool and I don’t know if you have a boyfriend or anything but I’d really like to take you out for dinner or something next week? Would you let me do that?”



“You kill me…you build me up …but just to watch me break…”



Insert pause for dramatic effect here…. ;) (You could also take this opportunity to refill that popcorn bowl , reheat that cold cup of hot-chocolate that my riveting story has caused you to forget about...and get all set for the climax to the story)



She replies: “Aww how sweet… (always a bad sign when a girl starts off like this) …but I actually do have a boyfriend. He lives in New York… but that is really nice of you and I’d totally love to be friends.”




Ouch. Shot down. And I'm super confused. To me, her behaviour was out of the ordinary and I sure felt like she wanted me to take further action...but ha, I guess maybe I still have some figuring out to do with this whole relationship stuff ;) But hey, that’s ok… I finished the conversation, told her that her boyfriend was a lucky guy and (as gracefully as I could) made my exit.

Now, you might wonder what the point of this long and fairly anti-climatic story is? A just question. And ummmm…. I don’t know. Haha, I guess my point with telling this story is two-fold. First, I DO actually try to live what I talk about in terms of relationships. When I see an opportunity, and feel the leading that there might be something there, I take it. Second, I wanted you to know that I felt AWESOME afterwards. It felt so good to have taken a chance and done everything I could. There was not a feeling of regret at all…even though she said no. And I respect her a lot for telling me that up front. So I share the story to encourage and say that it does feel great taking chances and living without regret. I love it. And the next time, who knows, maybe the outcome will be different. ;)

Words, 2 a.m., and the joys of being pretentious

"Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny." -Unknown



Writing right words mainly deals with refusing to type refuse…or trash, so to speak.

Words have always fascinated me. This I would attribute to my mother who instilled a love for writing and words in me from a young age. I can remember countless times when I would ask her what a word meant and instead of telling me or giving me some simple definition, she’d rush over to the cupboard and pull out her “friend” as she called it. This friend was a tattered, almost coverless dictionary that looks like one of those ancient books you see in movies that they pull secret formulas or long forgotten secrets out of. Admittedly, I usually complained when she made me look things up but, looking back now, I see that her excitement for words and for the way they are used, crafted, and carefully chosen by there users is one of the highest forms of art. As I grew older, I began to realize this and my excitement would merge with hers as we would hear new words, or read an article that was brilliantly crafted into that art.


I’d love to be a great writer. There are few people that I read and admire because of their writing styles. And only one (possibly two) blogs that I think are worth the time to read. Most people that write, and blog, and post, and use Twitter, throw words out like they mean nothing. There was a time when I was that way as well, a classic case of the proverbial ‘pot calling the kettle black’, but after hurting some people with some foolish posts and words that I lashed out with, I realized that, like rocks carelessly thrown, people can shatter just as easily as glass. Since then, I have tried to be very careful with what I post and blog about. That is one reason why I had only 10 blog posts all of last year. I wish I had more useful things to say but many times I just don’t. However, I think that in that care that I have shown, I have become rather, well…boring. There isn’t too much that is funny or lighthearted in what I post. This is sad since much of what happens and makes life worth living are the moments we spend laughing. So to those that read my blog, I will periodically be posting things that I come across that are funny or have caused me to enjoy a few minutes of laughter. This is the balancing point of what I’ve hoped to achieve with writing. To write with care, but also to not always walk away from the writing without being able to smile. So, here are a few things that made me smile in the last few days… thanks for reading



First was a blog about the “top 10 dangers of attending seminary” I skipped the boring ones and put in the good ones... enjoy

#10 Walking on campus the first day and realizing… MEN! MEN! MEN! MEN!… no women…

*(This is actually a bonus for the few women attending seminary)

#8 Finding out that the Song of Solomon isn’t a nice book about goats

#6 Discovering that alpha, beta, gamma is not a Greek sorority; but Greek is your new girlfriend, and she owns your life.

#5 Finding out you must draw your Bible sword and choose your side:

• Calvinism vs. Arminianism

• Covenantal vs. Dispensational Theology

• Old vs. Young Earth

• The Galactic Empire vs. The Rebel Alliance

• Unicorns vs. Narwhals



Next was a quote from one of my Air Force classmates when he discovered that we had to get up at 0200 to cook breakfast:

Pete: “Wait… like 0200 IN THE MORNING?!?!?”

My response: “Yes Pete… that is the general idea of military time. There is only one 0200.” ;)



And finally, a few pictures that made me laugh:




This is such a problem...some people just can't see that you're brilliant





I laughed for several minutes with this one ;)