How do you describe a sunset to someone who is blind? How do you quantify the number of stars in the nighttime sky? How do you talk about an experience that is still changing you when you yourself don't fully understand the ways in which you've changed?
These are the types of thoughts and questions that have been pounding in my mind this last week as I've tried to understand my time in Haiti. There's so much to think about, I don't even know where to start...which is probably why I've turned to writing to try to describe it. When you write you can change, add, and delete the pieces and parts of your story that you don't like. You can type again and again until your thoughts and feelings are expressed. But in life, it's different. It's all permanent. You want to delete some parts, or at least change them, so they don't hurt so much. You wish you could hold onto, or at least appreciate more fully, the good parts of your story. I've made mistakes in my 24 years, but going to Haiti was not one of them. Instead, it is one of the best parts of my story and it's something that I'm trying to keep a hold of and be sure I appreciate as much as I possibly can.
Team. That short word is always what jumps to mind first when I think about this trip. Relationships are so important to me and the way that life-changing events form individuals together into a team is one of the greatest things that I've experienced. I loved our team. I could talk for hours about each person individually. I could talk about Chris leading us and the amazing amount of passion he infuses others around him with. Watching him and Marci serve and support each other is something that I certainly hope to emulate in my own life. Then of course I would have to tell you about how mature and giving Kennedi is, mention how many times Kylie inspired me with her enthusiasm and joy, or tell you about Kenzie's seemingly infinite patience with the orphans who kept trying to 'tune' her ukulele for her when she was trying to play it.
What was it like to be with Colleen and Rita? Well...you would need to invent a word that means both 'hilarious' and 'inspiring' because that's exactly what it was like to be with them. The relationship that that mother and daughter have is a wonderful thing to watch. It was inspiring to see them together with the orphans and 'hilarious' doesn't even begin to cover what it's like riding on planes or talking with them. They make everyone around them smile...all the time. I miss each of these people and the ways in which they impacted all the lives they touched. I miss them impacting mine.
Family. I was so blessed to be able to go with my family and spending time with all of them together is something that is one of my favorite things to do. There's a lot of us, it takes us awhile to get places, and we're kind of weird, but I love the memories we make together. One of the best was seeing my parents celebrate 30 years of marriage in Haiti with all 6 of their kids. To have that kind of an example of love and commitment to family to look up to is something that I appreciate as I see more of my friends getting married and begin to look toward that step for myself. And then there's my siblings: Elizabeth, Rachel, Daniel, Rebekah, and Joshua. They're some of my best friends and they added so much to this trip. Probably the best part (other than having someone to talk to on the 24,000 hour plane rides of course), was seeing how they lived the same, consistent lives in Haiti that they do when we're home. I love them.
Orphans. I envisioned this trip as a way for us to help, and hopefully bless, the orphans that our church sponsors. But after spending time with these kids, most of whom have very little, I think I was the one who was blessed. They may not have many material possessions, but their joy and love for those around them made me question who was really living the 'better' life. I think I got a glimpse of what Jesus meant when he said "...for theirs is the kingdom of heaven". Loving like a child, forgiving like a child, believing like a child...these are the things that I think Christ was trying to impress upon us when he took time to play with, love, and speak into the lives of children. It left me with the question, are we doing the same for those kids (and other people) that God has placed in our lives?
So, that's it...the short version....that somehow got very long. God did much in my life on this trip. Some things are clear...other things I'm still processing. But in closing a quote from J.R.R. Tolkien seems fitting: "All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us..."
