Green Arrows, Fishing, and Kelly Clarkson

A few random thoughts...

Some things have been bouncing around in my mind lately and so this is going to seem like a really random post but…tonight I just don’t care. I have to write about them because then maybe I can better grasp what’s going on instead of feeling like I am chasing the waves as they advance and retreat along the shoreline. It’s basically things that have inspired me, annoyed me, and changed me in the last few weeks.

1.      I was really struck with how happy and cheerful the workers are at this one taco bell that I frequent here in the springs (Hey, what can I say, I really like the hard tacos). But, it just made me realize I could certainly try to make more peoples’ day better and that I don’t say thank you enough to the people who brighten mine.

2.      “…when I have nothing to write about, it’s time to be more adventurous. And when I have nothing I can freely post publicly, then I need to point my adventures in a more positive and productive direction…” This was written in a blog by one of my friends and it really made me think about the writing I do and the way I use my free time. Extremely thought provoking stuff.  And definitely an area I could improve on.

   

3.      I hate when I am sitting at a light…it turns green and the MOMENT, nay the SECOND, it turns…the person behind me honks as if I have been sitting there, oblivious, for the last 27 minutes. Rrrrr!!!!  Yes. I see it turned green. I apologize that my foot wasn’t able to transition from the brake to the gas faster than your hand to your horn. My bad. Sorry for slowing your day down (you moron).

4.      ‘Left on Green Arrow Only’ signs. This has been a pet peeve for years. I feel I have enough personal responsibility to see if a large, moving vehicle is hurtling towards me. If one is coming…I probably won’t turn. Don’t need your help Mr. Arrow. Thanks, but no thanks.

5.      “Maybe I’ll find you…maybe I won’t. I’ll try to…even if I don’t…”  Yeah. That’s where I’m at. I love where I am in life and where God’s placed me and really am enjoying the things I’m experiencing. But I’d be totally cool with doing some of these things with someone else. Like a girl for instance.

6.      “I won’t spend the rest of my life…catching my breath… letting it go. Turning my cheek for the sake of the show…”   I feel like I’ve been doing that a lot over the past few years and recently decided that I’m finished with it. There are standards. There are things I believe. I will stand for them because I believe they are right. It doesn’t mean I will never be wrong but it will mean that I live my life with purpose instead trying to tiptoe around not offending people that, quite honestly, might need to be offended if it will make them think.

7.      Warning: Poor analogy approaching…this one will involve fishing. If you have someone ‘on the line’ and you are just keeping them around so you won’t feel lonely, or so that you will have a fallback if the person you are currently dating doesn’t work out….CUT THEM LOOSE. Please. It’s not fair to girls, or guys. And truthfully, it’s selfish. It’s cruel to do just enough to keep someone hoping for a ‘someday’ that will never come.

8.      People who have amazing marriages/dating relationships are inspiring. I am really blessed to have several examples in my life and it makes me want to aim high if and when I ever date again. Hey… that last sentence rhymed.  I think that means I should end this post now.

Dancing in a Downpour

“…I’m breathing in, you’re breathing out the same…we give and take. And let the water fall… on the flame that’s not burning out…”

Everyone’s had a relationship, whether current or in the past, where the beginning stages feel like a dream. The stages are happening either in slow motion or spinning so fast you can’t even comprehend them. You feel “…in midair…floating off to space…”. It’s wonderful and something that is hard to understand fully.  Ironically, many of these same feelings come at the end of a relationship or at a time when things are difficult with the person you love. You feel lost…but in a much different and horrible way than when you were lost in how much you cared for this person that seems to have suddenly become a stranger. The first verse describes this surreal feeling of being with someone you care about more than you thought you ever could. Then, the tone changes…

“She’s in a town that holds a lonely road…and night is falling. In a home she’s in a lonely room…with music playing. Can she hear my heart…coming through on the door between?

In the second verse, these two people still exist in each other’s lives…but something has changed. Is it distance? Possibly… but what kind? Physical distance is hard, and can be the death of many relationships, but emotional distance can be far worse. To be in the same room/house/city with someone you love and not be able to express how you feel, or how sorry you are, can be nothing short of torture. You can hear the pain, the sorrow, in the bridge:

“Maybe I’ll find you…maybe I won’t. Baby I’ll try to…even if I don’t. You are what I never knew I needed...”

Do they give each other another chance? Can they rebuild? Or has the rain finally taken the flame that, at the beginning, could not be burned out? The easy answer is that they come running back to each other and dance in the downpour once again. But…sometimes it’s too late for that. Sometimes the chance to be with the person you love passes because we think that we can always “talk about it later”. What if this is the last day to save what you have? I don’t know if the characters in this song make it, I don’t know if I’ll make it…if you will. Some days I believe we will…and other moments…my faith is gone. But I do know that pride has no place in our lives and that it just might be the chain that is keeping us from the person we love. Is it keeping you?