The Sounds of Life and Music in 2011

This will just be a (fairly) short post reviewing the year in music. Why am I doing this? Because music is one of my main hobbies, I want to, and this is my blog. So in short, I do what I want. ;) If you are looking for a deep/controversial/relationship/theological topic, like most of my other posts, this post is not for you. You can stop reading now and go check Facebook again to see if anyone has posted anything new(especially relationship status updates) in the last 42 seconds.

Here’s what I am going to cover:

-Favorite Song of 2011

-Favorite album of 2011

-Biggest surprise of 2011 for me in music

-Biggest let-down of 2011

-Music most excited for in 2012

Favorite Song: This one is hard but I am going to go with JoJo’s song “Disaster”

Explanation: Those who are a little older might remember JoJo. Super talented girl (one of the top 5 female vocalists I’ve ever heard) who burst on the scene a few years ago with her hit song “Too Little…Too Late”. Why do I like the song? Three reasons. First, the lyrics. It’s kind of a slam on some of the clichés you hear about love. Here is a couple lines:  “…the wall’s went up and our love fell down… and it turned into ‘whatever’…now we’re saying “never”. Feel the fire ‘cause it’s all around…and it’s burning for forever and always”.  I love the last part because you often hear people say “forever and always” with love and a lot of times that’s just not what ends up happening. Second, the beat. It’s driving, it’s fast, it fits…the end. Third, JoJo and her emotion and vocal range. You can almost hear her pain “…no happy ever after…just disaster” and the way she sings it is truly incredible.  

Favorite Album of 2011: Wow. It’s so, so close. It’s a tossup between Blink 182’s album “Neighborhoods” and Angels and Airwaves album “Love II”.  Definitely get both but…I’d have to go with Love II.

(Honorable mention: Avril Lavigne’s album “Goodbye Lullaby” and Daughtry’s “Break the Spell”)

Explanation: Here’s the bottom line. Angels and Airwaves has a very ethereal style driven by the extremely unique vocals and lyrics that Tom Delonge brings to the group. If you like the ‘futuristic’ type sound of AvA then you will probably love it. If you don’t….you will hate it. I love Tom’s lyrics and sound so I love it. However, if you aren’t into the sound…you would be better off getting the Blink album because it’s basically all that with more of a punk rock feel. And as I mentioned, they are both fantastic.

Biggest surprise: Two words: Michelle Branch.

Explanation: Most of you probably remember Michelle. If you don’t just check out the link and try, I dare you, not to LOVE the song.( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2aViAxK3SKU ) It’s one of my top 5 favorite songs (and music videos). Well, Michelle is back. She was supposed to have an album out by now but…so far we only have a single. “Loud Music” came out around June and I loved it. I got to see her in concert with the Goo Goo Dolls a few months later and that was beyond awesome. Such an awesome concert and my favorite of the year for sure. This was a surprise because she’s been out of the music world for several years now and to see her come back with something so good was awesome. So yeah, check out the new single if you love Michelle, which you should. ;)

Biggest let-down: Sigh…this one hurts. But I’m going to have to say LIGHTS album “Siberia”.

Explantion: The reason this is so hard is because I absolutely love lights. Her first album “The Listening” was easily my favorite album of last year and so the dubstep and ‘dirty’ sound her second album took was disappointing to me. Now, not to say it wasn’t good. It’s growing on me a little but…..yeah, I was very sad. She was incredible in concert though…so nice and so down to earth. I love her for that. Totally would date her…just throwing that out there. ;)

Music most excited for in 2012: Hmm… ok I’m going to list 5 albums to watch for. You heard it here first.

JoJo’s album “Jumping Trains”: This could be a bust. But…I don’t think so. I’m getting it based solely on her vocal talent. And the incredible single ‘Disaster’

The Fray’s album “Scars and Stories”: Umm…it’s The Fray. Need I say more? If for some reason you don’t believe me…go check out the new single ‘Heartbeat’. You’ll thank me later.

Michelle Branch’s album “West Coast Time”: Again, slightly nervous, but…not really. I think I’m going to love this one. Again, based on Michelle’s ability on the guitar and the new single ‘Loud Muisc’.

Owl City ????: So…this is just a rumor, but we might have a new album form Owl City in the summer/fall of 2012. Which would be incredible. Adam Young just keeps improving. All Things Bright And Beautiful I listen to at least once a week and I still love it. Can’t wait to see him live again.

Newsboys album “God Is Not Dead”: So… I cheated. I pre-ordered this one and already know it’s great…as are all of the Newsboys albums. No defense needed. Just go buy it. It has Kevin Maxx of DC talk on a couple songs and if that doesn’t excite you then…I don’t even know what to say to you.  ;)

There you go! That’s my short (yeah right) thoughts on what I liked and what albums to watch for this next year. I’m already scheduled to see Matt Nathanson, Kelly Clarkson, Newsboys, Skillet, and JoJo live so I’m very excited!

 Thanks for reading…

Tebow and 'Divine Intervention'

And... hibernation is over! Yes, that is the excuse I am going to use for not blogging at all for almost 9 months. What could have possibly brought me out of hibernation you might ask? Well...two things. First, I think I actually have something valuable to say, the time to write it, and feel like I should. Second, (I kind of cheated by sticking three things in my first point but...sorry. Just work with me.) I was awakened from my hibernation by someone yelling "TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEBOW!!!!!!!!"

But on a serious note, it has been interesting watching Tebow and the.....what is the right word....hysteria?....that has gripped the bronco nation, christian nation, and fine.....just the entire nation in general. Hysteria might be too strong a word but to say that he is one of the most controversial figures to come on the scene recently would not be an overstatement at all. The fact that his #15 jersey is the top selling apparel in the NFL should be proof that this guy is someone that fascinates many....whether you're a sports fan or not.

The question that I have in my mind tonight is some peoples' talk of 'Divine intervention' and what role it plays in Tebow's, and for that matter, every other Christian's life? Now, some have said that the reason Tebow has had success on the field this year is because God is 'intervening' in the games and bringing the Broncos back (from sometimes almost impossible odds) to unexpected victory. The idea behind this is that because Tebow is so vocal about his faith and seems to lead such a God-honoring life, that God is blessing with the direct result of letting him and the Broncos win football games. And....I don't know what I think about this. I am inclined to think this is just a little bit ridiculous.

Here's why:

1. There are plenty of other Christians in the NFL....some even on the teams the Broncos have defeated (ex. Lovie Smith, coach of the Bears). So...if that is the way God 'blesses' Christians that follow Him and play football, how does one reconcile that? One guy who is a Christian wins....one loses. Seems like a double standard if that's indeed the way it works?

2. Just because you are honoring God with your life, doesn't mean you will have 'success' as the world defines it. Yes, many times you might, because the principles of God are wise and very often benefit our lives in physical, financial, and social ways. However, think about Job, or prettymuch any of the prophets. They followed God like few of us do, and yet they had much happen to them in their lives that the world would have definitely not defined as 'success'.

These are a couple of the main reasons I disagree with it. Now, as I stated above, winning football games could be part of some of the other benefits that come from leading a holy life. How? Well,  I would argue that hard work, character, teamwork, leadership....these are all traits that are laid out for us in scripture by Christ. However, these are also traits that can be developed by any aspiring athlete, Christian or not, because they see that doing so will benefit their gameplay and performance.

Now, to be clear, God is blessing Tim Tebow in some form directly for the way he is leading his life. I just feel it's important to realize that it might not be in ways that any of us will ever see and, in my mind, is not shown by the outcome of a game on a football field. That is my point. I know I may have simplified some things here but my desire was to give what I hope is an accurate reflection of the Christian life and, more importantly, check to be sure that we are presenting an accurate view to the rest of an unsaved world.

Taking my own advice, late night dinners, popcorn, and cold hot-chocolate

The following story is one of the few interesting things that has happened to me during my short excursion in the south these last few months. I was originally not going to post it but...it's a good story and I love those :)So, pull up that computer chair, grab your favorite snack (popcorn in my case), some hot-chocolate, and get ready for story time. The lyrics I’ve inserted are from a song that I kept coming across during this time that seemed to fit perfectly. It’s from a song called ‘Kill’ by Jimmy Eat World.

“Well you’re just across the street…looks a mile to my feet…”

 

Chase. A lot can be summed up in that word. Namely what I have been spending the last week thinking about… a lot. Chasing, how to chase, when to give up the chase, and yes, just the word…Chase.

In this case it’s because it happens to be the name of a girl I’ve met here in Mississippi. Now, when I got down here, I said I would DEFINITELY not even look around to date anyone because it was, after all, Mississippi. Which might be biased but there are very few girls that are attractive in any way down here... not to mention I’m not from here. But all that changed last…Sunday I think it was. The days sort of run together down here but I think it was Sunday night I went in to Chilies and this very attractive and really sweet girl waited on me. I didn’t think too much about it that night, mainly because I only have about 2 more weeks here in MS, and I was able to (fairly successfully I might add) talk myself out of pursuing anything because of this reason. However, it kinda floated around in my mind most of the week so this past Friday night I thought I would go to Chilies again and catch a basketball game and see if I happened to run into her again.


“Could it be that everything goes round by chance?...Or only one way that it was always meant to be…?”

I sat in a different section, but she happened to be there and to be my server again. She remembered me, exactly what I ordered, and what I liked to drink. Which I thought was pretty cool, and also kind of amazing considering we had honestly very little communication when I had come in the previous Sunday. So I started to re-think my whole approach, mainly just because she was so nice and sincere and apparently, either had a great memory…or had reason to remember me. And more than all of that… you ever have one of those times where you and another person just ‘click’? It’s only happened to me three times in my life but…yeah, this was one of those times.



But still I wasn’t sure. Every logical thought process I went through was in favor of leaving the whole thing alone for three good reasons. First, as previously stated, I have two weeks left in this state and then it’s quite possible that I would never see this girl again. Number two, I don’t REALLY know anything about her. Yes, she’s nice, very attractive, and her personality just seems to ‘fit’ for lack of a better word. But at the same time, I have no clue if she’s a Christian, what her family is like, or what her personality is away from her job (because, let’s face it, people will probably tip friendly, attractive girls better than they would otherwise). And third, I had no clue if this girl had a boyfriend or anything like that but even if she didn’t, I don’t think long distance relationships work. Too much can go wrong, and often does, when you are more than about 100 miles apart from what I’ve seen.



“…funny how I’m nervous still…I’ve always been an easy kill…I guess I always will…”



So I sat there… thinking through all these really good reasons to say nothing. However, and this is what always gets me, I HATE wondering. I hate not knowing for sure and losing sleep for who knows how long agonizing over why I didn’t say anything. I mean, as I often say in my blog, all the girl can do is say no. And if she does, you aren’t any further behind than you already are by not saying anything. So.. I was stuck. Totally didn’t know what to do. However, I listened and watched the way she interacted with people (covertly of course  ;) the rest of the time while I was waiting for my food.

Now, a qualifying statement. I have NEVER asked a girl out that I’ve met in a restaurant, Wal-Mart, on the bus, a petting zoo, or any other place for that matter. I am not that guy. I think the whole idea is a little over the top and kinda lame to be honest. It can be done correctly of course but most of us envision, at least I do, the creepy guy that hits on the waitress at the restaurant and uses some cheesy pickup line or something…usually right before she slaps him and walks off. And also, I would like to think I have a very realistic view of myself. I am quite average when it comes to looks and all that. So this type of approach would probably not work for me anyway did I decide to pursue it on a more full time basis.

Anyway, as I am going about all these ponderings I heard her talk to the table behind me. “Hi there how are you all doing tonight?...my name’s Chase and I’ll be taking care of you…” (my face:  0.0) A …GIRL… named Chase? I had never heard of such a thing. But I thought hey, something to ask her about right? Eventually my food comes and I talk to her a little (I was going to say more but I kinda chickened out and mainly just asked her if Chase was really her name and if there was any story behind that. Which, it turns out, there really isn’t. I guess her mom liked to use names that could be either boy’s or girl’s names). In any case, we really didn’t talk too much more. The only other event of the evening was that she put hearts all over my check but, again, I don’t read into that stuff too much because I think it’s pretty common when there is a tip involved. Anyway, she was nice, I was nice back, I found out her name…checked for a ring (always a good move…just don’t be obvious) and that was it. I walked out. However, as I am walking away I think wow… Lame. Really, really lame. And trust me, I kicked myself the whole way home that I didn’t talk to her longer. But hey, I figured she probably has a boyfriend anyway and it probably doesn’t matter too much… no need to agonize over it anymore.



“I pick up…put down the phone… it’s just like being alone”

Yeah right. I spent a fairly restless night trying to let it go…and pretty much failed miserably. Like I said, I hate not knowing far worse than I hate rejection. But the opportunity was lost. I hadn’t said what I should have. So I kinda went about the next day (Saturday) a little bit annoyed and thought the least I could have done was thanked her for taking the time to talk to me and tie up one of her tables for a couple hours while I watched the basketball game….which I actually did by the way for all those who think that was just a cover. ;)

So yeah, Sat night came and about 1030 I decided “FINE!!!!” (That was me yelling at myself) So I left my hotel and headed over to Chilies. Lame I know. And probably bordering on stalkerish. Sorry. And guess what…SHE WAS THERE AGAIN?!?! Yes, she was. She waved at me and I sat down.





“I know what I should do…but I just can’t walk away…”



So this time I think I am not leaving without talking to her more. Like for sure. “No way…”, I am thinking…"you are NOT walking out of this restaurant without tal---". That was about the time she sat down ACROSS from me… (Once again, my face… 0.0). Now, maybe I am just weird, but this does not seem like everyday activity to me. Maybe it happens to some guys a lot but, as discussed earlier, I don’t have the whole Brad Pitt thing going on so this is all pretty new to me. Anyway, she sits down and says: “hey how’s it going…it’s been crazy tonight…do you mind if I just sit here a minute and take a break?” Haha, seriously? Do I mind?? As if. So we sit there and talk about stuff for awhile. She’s a sophomore, studying to be a elementary teacher, and wants to know my opinion on if she should take statistics or college algebra (which, by the way, I think I lose a little bit of my soul every time someone says the word “statistics”…just throwing that out there). So we talk for probably ten minutes, she goes back to work and I decide: “yep, I think she’s throwing out signals, I am going to take the plunge and ask her out”. So the restaurant starts to empty out because it’s now 11:45 and I ask her for my check. She says “oh don’t worry about it tonight, you let me talk to you for forever so I don’t have a check for you this time”.

Wow. I would give you my surprised face again but it’s probably starting to lose its effectiveness due to overuse. ;) So I argue with her briefly about the whole check thing and then transition beautifully (cough cough) into something like: “hey…ok so…I know you probably get this all the time Chase but… you seem really cool and I don’t know if you have a boyfriend or anything but I’d really like to take you out for dinner or something next week? Would you let me do that?”



“You kill me…you build me up …but just to watch me break…”



Insert pause for dramatic effect here…. ;) (You could also take this opportunity to refill that popcorn bowl , reheat that cold cup of hot-chocolate that my riveting story has caused you to forget about...and get all set for the climax to the story)



She replies: “Aww how sweet… (always a bad sign when a girl starts off like this) …but I actually do have a boyfriend. He lives in New York… but that is really nice of you and I’d totally love to be friends.”




Ouch. Shot down. And I'm super confused. To me, her behaviour was out of the ordinary and I sure felt like she wanted me to take further action...but ha, I guess maybe I still have some figuring out to do with this whole relationship stuff ;) But hey, that’s ok… I finished the conversation, told her that her boyfriend was a lucky guy and (as gracefully as I could) made my exit.

Now, you might wonder what the point of this long and fairly anti-climatic story is? A just question. And ummmm…. I don’t know. Haha, I guess my point with telling this story is two-fold. First, I DO actually try to live what I talk about in terms of relationships. When I see an opportunity, and feel the leading that there might be something there, I take it. Second, I wanted you to know that I felt AWESOME afterwards. It felt so good to have taken a chance and done everything I could. There was not a feeling of regret at all…even though she said no. And I respect her a lot for telling me that up front. So I share the story to encourage and say that it does feel great taking chances and living without regret. I love it. And the next time, who knows, maybe the outcome will be different. ;)

Words, 2 a.m., and the joys of being pretentious

"Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny." -Unknown



Writing right words mainly deals with refusing to type refuse…or trash, so to speak.

Words have always fascinated me. This I would attribute to my mother who instilled a love for writing and words in me from a young age. I can remember countless times when I would ask her what a word meant and instead of telling me or giving me some simple definition, she’d rush over to the cupboard and pull out her “friend” as she called it. This friend was a tattered, almost coverless dictionary that looks like one of those ancient books you see in movies that they pull secret formulas or long forgotten secrets out of. Admittedly, I usually complained when she made me look things up but, looking back now, I see that her excitement for words and for the way they are used, crafted, and carefully chosen by there users is one of the highest forms of art. As I grew older, I began to realize this and my excitement would merge with hers as we would hear new words, or read an article that was brilliantly crafted into that art.


I’d love to be a great writer. There are few people that I read and admire because of their writing styles. And only one (possibly two) blogs that I think are worth the time to read. Most people that write, and blog, and post, and use Twitter, throw words out like they mean nothing. There was a time when I was that way as well, a classic case of the proverbial ‘pot calling the kettle black’, but after hurting some people with some foolish posts and words that I lashed out with, I realized that, like rocks carelessly thrown, people can shatter just as easily as glass. Since then, I have tried to be very careful with what I post and blog about. That is one reason why I had only 10 blog posts all of last year. I wish I had more useful things to say but many times I just don’t. However, I think that in that care that I have shown, I have become rather, well…boring. There isn’t too much that is funny or lighthearted in what I post. This is sad since much of what happens and makes life worth living are the moments we spend laughing. So to those that read my blog, I will periodically be posting things that I come across that are funny or have caused me to enjoy a few minutes of laughter. This is the balancing point of what I’ve hoped to achieve with writing. To write with care, but also to not always walk away from the writing without being able to smile. So, here are a few things that made me smile in the last few days… thanks for reading



First was a blog about the “top 10 dangers of attending seminary” I skipped the boring ones and put in the good ones... enjoy

#10 Walking on campus the first day and realizing… MEN! MEN! MEN! MEN!… no women…

*(This is actually a bonus for the few women attending seminary)

#8 Finding out that the Song of Solomon isn’t a nice book about goats

#6 Discovering that alpha, beta, gamma is not a Greek sorority; but Greek is your new girlfriend, and she owns your life.

#5 Finding out you must draw your Bible sword and choose your side:

• Calvinism vs. Arminianism

• Covenantal vs. Dispensational Theology

• Old vs. Young Earth

• The Galactic Empire vs. The Rebel Alliance

• Unicorns vs. Narwhals



Next was a quote from one of my Air Force classmates when he discovered that we had to get up at 0200 to cook breakfast:

Pete: “Wait… like 0200 IN THE MORNING?!?!?”

My response: “Yes Pete… that is the general idea of military time. There is only one 0200.” ;)



And finally, a few pictures that made me laugh:




This is such a problem...some people just can't see that you're brilliant





I laughed for several minutes with this one ;)



Being single, Chocolate, Taylor Swift, and...Owls?

Valentines Day. The word immediately evokes images of hearts, love, nice dinners (usually expensive), bears, chocolates, and stress (if you’re a guy that is ;). But overall, it is a pretty cool holiday I think. You can be bitter if you’re single (been there, done that…have the t-shirt), and that is certainly an option. Or you can be happy for the people in your life that do have someone (a better option in my opinion and hey, you save a lot of money right? ;). Or third, you are in a relationship and the last thing you’re doing is reading my stupid blog on Valentines Day because you have someone that makes your heart go pitter-patter and you’re probably out with them thinking about forever and pitying the rest of the single world (also an extremely valid option and one I hope you’re taking;).


But, whether you’re smitten, sarcastic, or single… I have a few words and then a pretty cool story for all those who want to still believe you can find love out there.

First, if you have someone, value them. It’s pretty incredible that the person you’re with has opened themselves up…knowing that they could get really hurt… and still choosing to take the risk and give you a chance. Don’t blow it. You might not get another one.

Second, if you’re single and know someone that you have feelings for…tell them. Life’s too short in my opinion. Is it a risk? Yeah, it really is. But if you aren’t into taking risks then I’m not sure you really want to get into a relationship anyway because the whole thing is pretty much a huge risk from start to finish. But it is worth it. If they say no, that’s ok, at least you know. Get out there and keep looking and growing.

Ok so now the story…

So most of you know Adam Young (aka Owl City). And most of you know Taylor Swift. Well, her song ‘Enchanted’ off of her new album was written for a specific person. With lyrics including "I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home, I'll spend forever wondering if you knew I was enchanted to meet you. Please don't be in love with someone else. Please don't have somebody waiting on you."

Taylor Swift mentioned in an interview last year she wrote the song "about this guy that I met in New York City, and I had talked to him on email or something before, but I had never met him. And meeting him, it was this overwhelming feeling of: I really hope that you're not in love with somebody." So the response to her song came out yesterday and we’ll see if true love is still possible in the celebrity world. It’s a pretty incredible story. Check it out: http://owlcityblog.com/ And, just for the record, I’m pulling for them. I don’t know what kind of person Taylor Swift is but I know Adam Young is a great Christian guy so I definitely wish him the best. Happy Valentines everyone!



Source: http://www.toofab.com/2011/02/14/taylor-swift-adam-young-owl-city-enchanted-speak-now-valentines-day/

Dreams of 2011

"...and here we go life's waiting to begin..." -AVA


 

So a new year has hit us… and the comings and goings that have taken place this last year made me think about what has happened, and what still will come, in 2011. For me, to sum up a year in a word or a short phrase is hard, and yet, easy at the same time. This year has meant many things to me… loving, finding yourself, losing some of who you thought you were…and in that process of loss discovering new dreams… or echoes of old ones that had somehow gotten lost in the frenetic pace that life takes us on. And while I know we’re already at the end of January, I don’t think it’s too late to think about some things that we want to do this next year. So that’s my challenge to you all, and to myself. What are you going to do this year that will make you look back with peace and happiness in years to come? Will you look back and think “now THAT was a great year…” or will it be simply another year where much activity took place, but so little was accomplished? So much of our lives we spend waiting for the next job, the next relationship, the next paycheck, or the next stage of life. We think “as soon as I get THERE” or “as soon as I have that person in my life…” when really, there will always be something that isn’t quite perfect that keeps us wishing for the next thing to happen. That’s why they call it a risk.

You have now. I have now. Neither one of us might have next year, and our futures’ become our present before we know it. So what will you do? Make a list, or share a few things with someone close to you so that you can look back next year and see how you did. Where is one place you want to visit? Do you want to start a new hobby, job, or dream? Who can you impact that you have previously simply passed by in your day to day life? They might only have this year left…and they might be dying for someone to take the time to care about their dreams. What are some fun things you want to do while you are in high school, college, or some other stage of life?

picture from Fiji....yeah...it's that awesome there.

That’s really all I have guys. I know this one was fairly short but it was something I needed to tell myself as much as anyone else. And, just so I have something out there and actually walk the way I am talking, here are a few things I want to do this next year:

1. Start learning guitar. It’s always something that I’ve wanted to do and though I might not master it, I would really like to learn. I love music and think it’s pretty ridiculous that I don’t play anything. (As a side note to all you musicians or kids that are currently playing an instrument… don’t stop. You’ll regret it I promise.  ;)

2. Visit either Washington and Oregon or a foreign country…maybe Europe? I love going new places (as long as I can come back home ;) and am going to work on stepping out to see some places that are totally new this next year.

My two awesome sisters at Lake Dillon this year

3. Become more involved at a church. I’ve really pulled back the last couple years from being actively involved in church activities due to some stuff that I’ve gone through. And really, that’s not right. God calls us to be a group of believers helping each other and growing corporately so I want to follow that call and become active again.

Winter X Games with Josh, Tim, and Luke

4. Make specific, intentional memories with friends and siblings. Plan a trip; go see a concert, etc. That kind of stuff that makes for amazing memories later in life.

5. Start planning an active strategy for following God’s call on my life. I know what God has called me to and I need to start figuring out a plan allow me to serve in that capacity. Mainly, this means starting to plan financially, and making contacts for when God decides that the time has come for me to take the next step.

So there’s a few things from me, and I've added some pictures of some of my favorite things that have happened this year. Hopefully, some of this might get you thinking about some stuff you want to do in this next year. I’ll look forward to talking to you all as I run into you in the future years and talking about how awesome 2011 was. Oh, and as a side note, Valentine’s Day is coming (Feb 14th for all you guys) and I’m super excited to write on that next. So stay tuned for that post :)

You know it's true :)

It's just lunch... Part 2: "The girl at the coffee shop...Nascar...and the return of Communism"

“Do you ever wonder if we make moments in our lives, or if the moments in our lives make us?”

And there she is… and it’s perfect. She’s not being talked to by 13 people like usual. She looks peaceful sitting there and sipping her “No ice, skim milk, one pump, double-blended frap. Oh, and hold the whip cream.” You smile to yourself as you contemplate how coffee could possibly be so complicated. “Ha…” you think “…almost as complicated as why I’m still sitting here.” So you get up… and… sit back down. “Why is this so HARD!!” you yell at yourself. She looks at her watch and sighs… then, regretfully, starts to slowly gather the papers she had barley glanced at since she’d been there. You can think of a million reasons why you should go talk to her… and also a million why some other time might be better. This seems like such a great opportunity… but the moment is rapidly passing…what do you do?

After writing part one in this series of blog posts on relationships, I admit that I was a little lost at where to go next. Ok so maybe more than a little lost…maybe somewhere between hopelessly and miserably would be a better description. And after starting this particular post about seven times, I decided to mention the above scenario. Now, it is fictional and maybe is a situation you’ve never been in, but I tried to highlight the internal struggle that many guys face when considering asking out/dating a girl. And, trust me girls, it really is a struggle. But guys, I’m going to be blunt… I DON’T CARE if it’s hard. Now, it’s not that I don’t sympathize, because I do. I have trouble with this stuff too but I really think that if the girl is trying and doing some of the hard, sometimes difficult stuff that I mentioned in my last post about relationships, then we are wrong if we aren’t risking the same (and really, we should be risking more) to try to find someone as well. It should be hard. So below I’m going to put some things (much like I did for the girls) about what my personal opinion is on what guys should be doing. And, I’ll just warn you ahead of time, I probably going to be very honest and not extremely tactful because honestly, we are all guys and I know you can handle it and I’d rather hit you in the face with what I think is really important than beat around the bush for an hour and maybe have some of us miss the point.

-First, most importantly, and shortest. Get advice. Pray. Talk to those who you look up to. This is the easiest area to mess up because your emotions are involved and if you aren’t asking God and others for wisdom you have a better chance of “hitting a bullet… with another bullet… while riding a horse…blindfolded” to quote Star Trek.



- JUST ASK HER!!! Probably most of you were dying while reading the story above. I know after writing it I honestly wanted to go up and shake the guy as he sat there about to watch the girl walk out. To quote the old Nike slogan “Just Do It”. God has designed us to be the leaders in our future homes so we might as well start getting practice taking the lead now. And really, what’s the worst that could happen? Maybe she does laugh at you, or look really surprised because it’s totally out of the blue in her mind. I know what you’re thinking… “How could she NOT know?!?! I’ve only been making meaningful eye contact, “just randomly” running into her, and writing on her Facebook wall for the last 3 months…how could she not already know??” But it’s true guys, sometimes we think we are being obvious and think she’ll surely see it coming but a lot of times that is not the case… which is why you be very clear. Just go talk to her. Even if she says no, at least you’re both on the same page and you can move on. Because let’s face it… do you really want your thoughts on why you DIDN’T take your opportunity doing enough laps for a Daytona 500 later that night? Because I’ve done that and trust me… I’ve done it so much that I think it has ruined me from ever liking Nascar and/or racing.

- Have a plan. If you walk up to dream girl, ask her out, she says yes and you DON'T have a plan…wow. That's incredible...and I will rip your shirt off of you the next time I see you and choke you out with it. There’s zero excuse for not having a plan. Hopefully you know her well enough from all those hours of meaningful glances and eye contact that you at least have an idea of what she likes. Which brings me to the third point…

- Objective of your Date. The objective of your date should have two main reasons. Reason number one: give it your best shot and be watching to see if there are any immediate red flags with this girl. If you start to see so many red flags that you wonder if maybe communism is making a comeback... then stop and think. Don’t beat yourself up for not seeing them sooner, but just realize that if you can see problems this early on, it’s not fair to you or her to go out on 37 more dates before you drop her. Never lead her on. It’s not fair and it’s wrong. Now, if there are not any immediate problems then you should transition to objective number two. Reason number two for your date: set up, or at least get ideas for date number two. This really isn’t that hard if you have a plan and are intentional about what you are talking about all evening with dream girl. For instance, you ask what she likes to do or she tells some story about some of her favorite memories or passions. Bam. Figure out a way to work something like that into your next date. If she says the ONLY THING SHE LOVES IN THE WHOLE WORLD IS KNITTING!.... then you have a decision. You either might need to start taking some night classes on crocheting… or possibly consider that maybe you and this girl aren’t the best of matches. Either is fine, but just go in with your eyes open…and maybe make me a scarf to thank me if you choose the night classes.

- Where are you going? I don’t mean where are you going in the next ten minutes, I mean in life. One of my favorite quotes about this is from Dr. Nobel (founder of Summit Ministries) because he doesn’t beat around the bush. He said: “Girls… if some guy asks you out… and he’s on the bus to “nowhere”…you tell him to... DROP DEAD!” And I think he’s right. If you care so much about this girl then care enough to be able to provide for her. So, have a plan for where you are going in life because contrary to popular opinion, love is NOT all you need. Something that suspiciously resembles a job and a life-calling tends to do a lot more for your relationship than just having “love”. Remember what I told the girls because the same thing applies “meet someone you love…doing something you love.”

- Alright, there’s a lot more that needs to be said but this will be the last one. If you blow it but still think that you HAVE to date this girl because she’s that important and special…don’t waste time with regret. Plan better, get more advice, pray harder, and then try again. If she is not worth all those things then again, that’s not bad, but it also means she’s probably not the one for you.

That’s all I have for now guys. I will be the first to tell you that stuff doesn’t always work out and sometimes you do everything right and it just turns out wrong. Or you blow it and think it’s over for sure. But that’s ok, learn from it and don’t become bitter and you might really end up being a guy that some girl will love to date/marry because of it. To reference the quote I used in the first line of this post, take control of making those moments in your life... don’t let the moment pass you by.